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How I Enjoy Each Season of my Life

“He has made everything beautiful in its time…”

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Each season has a peculiar beauty and I want to share how I enjoy each one.

My Marriage: 

We enjoyed a deep fellowship with God in prayers, Bible reading and partaking Communion, etc. We were intimate friends and love each other’s company.  For hours, we could talk about the Bible, as well as any other subjects.  We went to the gym and also jogged outside around the lake. He enjoyed my writings and paintings. I joined him in his flying and boating adventures. I enjoyed my marriage season of 41 years.

As a mother:

I enjoyed my children to the last drop too. I was a 100% mother, I participated in all their activities, I provided all the necessary things for my three beloved children. Humanly speaking, I lived for them until they got married. I was and still am delighted to be their mother.

As a daughter:

As a daughter I was blessed with parents who by their example taught me to love God. I learned from their wisdom to be who I am today.  Both blessed me with special blessings on their deathbeds. I really enjoyed that sweet season of my life.

Each season with its different hues adds a relaxing shade to my present time. Each one has its high and low moments, but God is always on His throne!  He is not surprised when we are assailed with enormous blows, His invisible power controls every movement and strengthens us!  The knowledge of His presence keeps me enjoying my present season.

We can enjoy each season of our life because there is enough grace for every trial. 1 Peter 3:10 is a vital resource for enjoyment:

“For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”

The tongue is a powerful weapon that can give life or death. We must learn to speak life to our circumstances. I have lived all kinds of seasons,  extremely painful, happy, good and a new normal season.  I’ll share one of each season.

Extremely Painful Season:

The death of a child is the most excruciating pain ever. When my 22-years-old son died, although the anguish was unbearable, God’s grace was sufficient. And He blessed me with a lovely husband and a beautiful congregation that lifted me up in prayers.  I don’t think I would ever face any pain greater than that, due to the shocking surprise. You never expect to outlive your child, it’s so incomprehensible that it doesn’t even have a name for it. When a parent dies, the child is orphaned, but when a child dies, how do you call the parents?  Just anguish!

Happy Season:

MCCG was a women’s ministry to help women going through midlife crisis. Through that ministry I was able to help many women, national and international. That was a very good and rewarding season. My now married children are a constant source of joy and satisfaction. God changed a sad date for a happy one, my first grandchild was born on the same day and month as the child I have now in heaven. So that date is a celebration, there is no place for sadness. Praise the Lord!

Good Season:

Our church and church school were flourishing, our 40th wedding anniversary was just around the corner. My husband fulfilled his dream of building his own house, financially and emotionally we were ready to reap the fruits of our labor. We could enjoy our empty nest. Seventeen years ago, I was overwhelmed with grief over my son’s death, but now my soul was restored. Everything was fine! However, my lovely husband underwent brain tumor surgery and his character changed. Forty years down the drain that ended in divorce.

A New Normal Season:

The Motto of my life is found in Acts 20:24,

 “But none of these things deter me. Nor do I count my life of value to myself, so that I may joyfully finish my course and the ministry which I have received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God” 

I have lived my motto for years and my life is full of joy and beauty. I am living a new normal, which I never dreamed of living.  But in spite of everything, the richness of  Almighty God’s  presence has lavished me with incredible blessings.  I feel so special under His loving care! His presence is constant in my house and I in my affairs.  I have never experienced loneliness. This is the result of knowing God and serving him!

When Jesus Christ is the Lord of your life, the season could be as black as the sea, but your soul will enjoy eternal sunshine!  Due to this reality, I have enjoyed every season of my life!  And if you invite the Lord Jesus Christ to come to your heart, you will be able to experience this joy!

This is my story! What’s yours?

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Go Down Alive to Sheol

“But if the Lord creates something new, and the ground opens its mouth and swallows them up with all that belongs to them, and they go down alive into Sheol, then you shall know that these men have despised the Lord.”” Numbers 16:30.

This narrative left me totally dumbfounded, I see a mine to dig knowledge that I don’t even have a way to investigate. I pleaded with the Lord for revelation because no human being can help me in this matter, as I don’t even know what to ask. I felt that the Lord impressed me to go deeper into my own experience to understand my queries.

“Go down alive into Sheol”.  Sheol has a very extensive definition, but for reason of space I’ll use this: Sheol is the unseen realm of the dead.

My mind lit up to understand a mystery of dying. Before dying there is a process of special kindness and grace that God pours over the soul of the deceased. However, a person under Divine judgment can lose this process of goodness and grace. This judgment happened to this people in the Book of Numbers chapter 16.

The Mystery of Dying

I share two of my experiences here:

My aunt had an only child, who was disabled. She was overprotective of him and he depended on her 100%. When the hour of her death approached, she parted from him.

My mother had a perfect tooth, and she took pride and her oral hygiene. I took her to the doctor’s office, and he hospitalized her. I was very worried about her toothbrush and very diligently I rushed to the store to buy one. When I showed it to her, I was shocked that she ignored it.

A few days before her death, she detached herself from us and from everything around her. She spent her last days on this planet, but her soul entered a state of pure peace and tranquility.

I saw a process of emotional dissociation. It was like a soul buffer to ease the blow of detachment from this reality to the eternal one. I saw it as a conditioner of the soul, so that it crosses the river peaceful and not terrified.

All transitions cause some kind of apprehension because it introduces to the unknown, and we always struggle to maintain our stability.

I realized God gives us a special kindness at the death bed. He allows a controlled tranquility as a mode of transportation to the departing soul. This is the normality for a soul that has been redeemed by the Lord. Without this special grace of God, even the saved soul will be shocked to depart from its body. This is how the Apostle explains it:

“While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 5:4.

Death was never God’s plan that’s why we hate it. However, we have the comfort of knowing that the transition is sweet for the deceased. We cross the river of death to enter eternal bliss.

What happens when a soul goes to Sheol alive?

Before people go to the next state, the death process must occur, but is it possible to face the next state without the death process?  According to Numbers 16:30, yes it can!  This is the sad reality for those who die without receiving the gift of eternal life.

Right now you can ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you and to receive you as His child and He  gladly will. Death is real and today is your opportunity to chose eternal life or eternal damnation.  I chose eternal life, I chose Jesus Christ as my Savior and King!

This is my Story! What is yours?

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When a Spouse Dies of a Long Illness

Lord Jesus, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You are the only one able to keep me from falling and fill my heart with joy!

“To the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, might and authority, from all ages past, and now, and for ever and ever! Amen.” (Jude 1:25)

Lord, when a spouse dies, the heart of the surviving spouse is broken. The anguish seems to be an unbeatable giant. The whole creation stands still and devastating agony reigns. Nevertheless, all his/her environment is full of compassion. Everyone looks for the opportunity to help in any possible way.

After the grieving process, the surviving spouse is seen as an honorable widow. The community talks about his/her good deeds. They are admired for their sacrificial love and devotion to the deceased.

The single community regards them as trustworthy people because they kept their vow, “Til death do us part.” In this way, death is not that debilitating monster it seemed to be. But through this vast valley of sorrow, a beautiful garden of the most fragrant roses boomed. The name of the garden is character, integrity, fear of the Lord!

A divorced woman is totally the opposite, she loses all her close friends and now she is seen as a rival. A divorced woman is not only disowned by her husband, but for society as well. God hates divorce because it destroys the family, and He says:

“And why isn’t God pleased? It’s because He knows that each of you men as been unfaithful to the wife you married when you were young. You promised that she would be your partner, but now you have broken that promise.” (Malachi 2:14).

God strengthens both the widowed and the divorced. Both has a place in the society, and both can enjoy a full and satisfied life, if that life is governed by the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

This is my Story! What is yours?

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The Authority of Consternation

This is an entry from my 2016 journal  

What does consternation mean?

It is the feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected.

After fulfilling my citizenship privilege to vote, I was overwhelmed by the joy of seeing my garage so neat and clean. Suddenly, I realized that my husband had only lived in this house for five years. Therefore, I have outlived him five years and three months here. And I looked back and see the Lord is amazingly good.  “The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes”. Psalms 118:23.

When the sudden disappearance of my husband and the dissolution of our marriage, I was totally shocked. At the beginning of this odyssey I was sure I knew my Lord and Savior, but after all my prayers, fasts, true faith displaced and lived, I am not quite so sure I do.

He is at the forefront of my storm, He looks strange, I see an aspect of Him that chills my heart to the core and makes my whole spiritual life gasp in horror. I have been on my knees praying and fasting, believing without a doubt that He will rescue my husband. But he set His face like a flint and His steadfast determination terrifies me. I felt my liver spilled, my tear glands went dry. Jesus is no longer my Pal, He is taken up with a point of view unknown to me, and He amazes me. At first my confidence of knowing Him  was totally perfect, but now I’m not so sure.

In my crossing through  the wilderness I began to understand there is a distance between the Lord and me, I cannot longer be familiar with Him.  He is ahead  of me and He never turns around;  I have no idea where He is going with my daughter, my husband and ministry, therefore, the goal has become strangely far away. 

As Jesus was a Man of sorrow, He had to understand every sin and  sorrow a man could experience, and that makes Him seem strange.  When we see Him in this aspect  we don’t  know Him, we don’t recognize  one feature of His life, and we do not know how to begin to follow Him.

Today, March 15, 2016, I realized more clearly how satisfied and complete my life is. The first five years in this house were with many uncertainties, I was constantly assaulted by instant and shocking surprises from investments, loans and new acquisitions. The garage, like the lawn were a mess, the house and cars in disorder and the constant fear of a new surprise. As per today, my Savior has seen me through all my sorrows and losses, and He turned them  into so much blessings! 

 By His grace I only owe love! I am free to help my children, they all have good vehicles, homes and when emergencies have assaulted them, the Lord has prepared me as His Mark 6:41 to supply. Seven years without my husband and how much abundance and protection the Lord has given me. He has blessed my life, my mind, my body and my finances! I am incredibly grateful!

I have been under this discipline of consternation and I see it fundamental in my life. His grace has equipped me to endure the darkness of dismay in my personal life and the result of it. It is an indescribable joy! This discipline helps me to continue to endure with determined faith until my daughter’s soul’s desire for a child, my husband, and my ministry is over. I trust the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart, even though I can’t always understand! Thank you Jesus! What a wonderful God we serve!

I got a fresh revelation which is:

Everything in life is an addition. The only reality is the kingdom of God and His justice, so my marriage is just an addition. I have what is real, I have Jesus and His kingdom!

This is my Story! What is yours?

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A Letter to God

A Carefree Living

Father, there is a deep longing in my soul to worship you in the heavenly way. In my soul the penetrating desire to love and worship You increases. This morning I asked you to help me to worship you heaven style, my thought was to express my gratitude and love with all kind of emotions. But instead, You have introduced me into an atmosphere of tender care, it’s as if my prayer is answered with Your tender love for me. It’s a carefree feeling, although there are lots of inconvenient issues. There is a blessed assurance deep inside my soul that everything is in Divine order for me.

Is this worship heavenly style? It is not I who gives you, but you, infusing your life in my spirit! I am the container, a deep pot and you fill it with your essence! You created me twice, the first time you formed me from the dust and breathed the breath of life into my nose (Genesis 2: 7). In that state I was just a living person, very knowledgeable about the natural environment. I was very aware of my dusty habitat and enjoyed the land. But the law of gravity had a strong hold on me and my eyes were always fixed downward. And there is just room for myself, because I am just a living person.

Not so with Your second creation, dust was not the composing ingredient. In my first creation there was no blood. Blood, was the main factor through the Spirit of God to make the second creation. And Ephesians 2:10 says I am God’s masterpiece. He created me anew in Christ Jesus. God ‘s purpose in creating me the second time is different than the first. The first time He created me a living person, now He created me for a life of good deeds.

Those good deeds include a spiritual temple, according to 1 Peter 2:5, God created me as a living stone that He uses to build His residence and He also made me His holy priest. No wonder I feel so cared for by You!  Storms come and go and I am carefree, there is an abundance of well-being within me that prevents me from worrying.

Now I am so aware of how it is worshiped in heaven. “…Christ fills all things everywhere with Himself”  (Ephesians 1:23).  And in Him I’m full and complete. I am so cared for by You! This atmosphere of complete well-being is heavenly worship! Thank you for this revelation. Amen.

This is My Story! What is yours?

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A Solution to a Frightened Thought

A Letter to my Friend in Asia

On November 1, 2017, a sudden thought pierced my soul.

Beloved friend.

If all of the sudden, I don’t hear from you and I have no way to find out what happened! Oh my mind, … my heart got frozen! Then I thought, if I disappear you have no way to know either. It saddened me because I imagined that you may be concerned also. Then the greatest and most powerful human emotion visited me, grief; which I also embraced it as a testament to all the things that bring true happiness, love, appreciation, and gratitude.

Friend, I like to be prepared ahead of time for every small and big thing. In case our relationship be suddenly asunder from your side or from mine, we must be prepared ahead of time. We have nobody to inquire about our whereabouts. We have to keep our minds focused on that our relationship was born in God’s heart. And it will continue till eternity.

I’m planning to live 50 more years. My beloved friend, I’m not in the death business, nevertheless, our life is like a vapor. If one day you don’t hear from me and you don’t see me on FB, then check my Instagram, if I’m not there either, then is because He (the Lord) entered me into His marital chamber. But from there we, He and I– (Oh my God! This thought warms my heart! Wow,) what a joy that will be!), will be loving you!

My lovely friend, human beings won’t understand this relationship, because it’s not human, so just let’s keep it between us five (wow… 5! =Grace) Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you and I.

I pray you see my point, if not my darling child, we have no other option, I suppose, unless you do. But as you quoted Acts 17:28, in your first text to me, I quote it back to you now.
“For in Him we live and move and have our being…”


Beautiful child of God, I really, really love you! God wanted it this way!

“Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is  hard to break.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13.

This is my story! What is yours?


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A “NO” Sweeter than Honey

“I know that everything God does will endure forever;

nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it…”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭

When you desperately want something, you only care about a “YES”. Thirteen years ago, I prayed and fasted, pouring out my soul before God, begging for something that I thought I could not live without. My pierced soul and my lake of tears did not move the Lord to say “Yes.” Because of this, I wondered with pain in my soul for a long time. But today I want to shout to the top of the mountain that everything God does is perfect and that a “NO” of Him, is sweeter than honey. I am exuberantly delighted! Praise the Lord! He had a better plan for me!

This is My Story: What is yours?

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The Soul’s Tiny Ripples of Hope

Something must be cooking in the atmosphere! There is a feeling of numbness that lingers in the cleft of the soul. It is a feeling of indecision, a feeling of knowing nothing.

Tiny ripples of hope jump here and there dragging the longing for a friendship, but the idea of entertaining frightens the weak self of hers. She has no plan for the future, no desire of anything in this world. Everything is tasteless, nothing has flavor.

What is life in this planet? The soul has digs for knowledge that is unsearchable, out of her reach. An introspective look shows the true longing and hope of the soul is God! Money does not satisfy. Relationship comes and goes, even the most faithful human relationship is lost through death. There is nothing secure on earth. This world is flavorless and the tiny ripples of hope surge, just to fade into the depth of the unknown.

In 1 Corinthians 13:8-10, 12-13 the Apostle gives the answer to the search of the soul:

The missing link the soul is searching for, is love. God is love! This is why love never ends. Our great grief is that we only know in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will be set aside. And we will know fully, then hope won’t be needed anymore. One thing will remain forever and that is Love!

Your soul can call upon that Love right now. Say this prayer:

“Dear God, there is a void in my soul and nothing will fill it, but your love. I’m a sinner. I receive Jesus as my Savior. Forgive my sins and write my name in your book in heaven. Please, let me experience the joy of my salvation. Thank you. Amen.

“Love never ends… For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when what is perfect comes, the partial will be set aside… For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:8-10,12-13 NET

This is my story, what is yours?

peaceforce@msn.com

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The Influence of Beauty

This is a prayer from the Journal of my Struggles (9/17/18)

My beautiful Comforter, I exalt You! Thank you for the display of beauty that you give me to strengthen me in this journey.

Thinking about the power of beauty, a little slave woman springs up in my mind. That feeble, little woman challenged the authority of the most powerful man in the existing world. The Book of Exodus, in the Sacred Scriptures, gives us the narrative of this awesome event.

““And the woman conceived and bore a son, and when she saw him, that he was a beautiful child, she hid him three months.” Exodus 2:2

The strict law was, “… to cast every son that is born into the river…” Exodus 1:24. The beauty of the baby Moses enticed his mother to risk her own life to protect him.

What is it in beauty that influences and entices people to do illogical things?

Jacob worked 14 years for Rachael’s beauty! Beauty comes in different tones and shades and drives us on unknown paths! Physical appearance is the gateway to enter and discover the shades and tones of intellect, which is the beauty of the soul and the richness of the spirit!

The gateway Jay, an acquaintance, offers is full—scale, he is very attractive, his soul is beautiful, his spirit is rich, nevertheless, his intellect is underdeveloped. Physical beauty is temporal, the best diet, exercise and good health, are no match for the biological clock. Physical beauty is very attractive, but with the passing of days, the invincible law of gravity is winning, pulling down till this physical beauty succumbs to the grave.

Knowing physical beauty’s destiny, we should allow it to influence in a full—scale. Beauty attracts others and, immediately the intellect must step up to enhance the influence of the outer beauty . The way to deepen the intellect into knowledge, is going to the source. “ The Lord is the source of wisdom; knowledge and understanding come from his mouth.” Proverbs 2:6.

A sharp intellect is the portal for the beauty of the soul with its different shades that are not affected by the law of gravity, these internal beauties are not touched by gravity. They are elevated as the days pass by.

The last, but not the least is the gate of the spirit. This beauty is priceless! If we could only comprehend the spirit is immortal, then we will nourish it accordingly. The beauty of the spirit is immeasurably superior to the constant deteriorating physical. With the passage of time, the spirit grows and becomes wiser, while physical beauty declines every day.

 The image of God is in our spirit, not in our physical counterpart. This understanding prompts us to seek God! The spirit nourished with the Word of God is beauty with wisdom and intelligence. Wisdom is a source of  life, strength and joy! The Book of Wisdom says that beauty without wisdom is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout (Paraphrase) Proverbs 11:22.

God’s creation is beautiful! He filled each continent with uniqueness! Each ethnic group has an intrinsic beauty and special grace. Therefore, we must nurture our spirit more earnestly, so that when the physical beauty fades away, the beauty of the spirit can continue influencing others with beauty!

“Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown.”” Proverbs 4:7-9

This is my Story ! What is yours?

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How to Respond to the Blows of Life!

The mention of His name is not just a title of a song. Whenever I mention,  even a pronoun of Him, not  just His name, I experience a sweet, warm feeling of His nearness in the atmosphere.  Just to be conscious of the Lord Jesus Christ, His loving kindness and His majesty change the  environment.

In His name we find comfort! This is my story:

 A few years ago we were invited to a very nice birthday celebration and not even  in my wildest dream, I could have imagined what was going to take place. The whole environment was beautiful and very friendly. In that safe family setting, no one expects to fall prey to a paranoid schizophrenic. Sadly, that was the case. We were taken by surprise, we didn’t see it coming until the assault was face to face with us. It was a very traumatic encounter, mainly for one of my daughters.

The other night before I went to bed, I walked down an alley of memories. A vivid memory of that painful scene came up to me. It felt like a stab in my heart and I plunged into a feeling of sadness and helplessness. I knew that going to bed with that hostile feeling was useless for a goodnight rest. But what to do when the blows of life hit us inadvertently leaving us emotionally paralyzed?  My success story over and over again, is just a little talk with the Lord Jesus Christ, He is my Strong Tower and I feel secure in Him. He is my Hidden Place and His name is my Guarantee for open heavens!

I asked the Lord to give me a Word for me to stand firm until that defeated feeling be overcome. John 14:27  shone in my mind!  “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not  let  your heart be troubled and  do not be afraid.”

 While I was repeating it over and over,  the soothing presence of the Lord was replacing the feeling of hopelessness with a feeling of  warrior feeling to defend the feeble. Then, in that peaceful atmosphere, my memory shifted.

Different Aim:

Now that the turmoil of that memory is gone, and in the comfort of my bed, I began to meditate on the persecuted church and on all those people fleeing the war. How they have suffered unspeakable abuse and they  have no voice. How wounded are their souls! Then I began to pray for their emotions, because time heals physical wounds, but wounded souls need to be restored by the grace of God.

The most cruel and unbearable pain I have suffered was the death of my son. Since then, I have set out in my heart not to waste any pain, but to learn something out of it  to bless others.

That night, I realized how easily we can fall into depression caused by small things. The helplessness caused by that memory served as a mean of enlightening  my mind to see the suffering that plagues so many in the world. Then I was grateful, to have relived it  because it turned into an awareness of something sublime, to be a voice for the voiceless. The Book of Wisdom, Proverbs 31:8-9 commands us to:

“Speak out on behalf of the voiceless, and for the rights of all who are vulnerable. speak out in order to judge with righteousness and to defend the needy and the poor.”

My experience brings to mind the Apostle Paul, he was having a hard situation and asked God to remove it. After the third time of his pleading with the Lord for being delivered from that situation, this is the answer from God:

“But  he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”   2 Corinthians 12:9.

This truth has been so real in my life, the grace of God is sufficient for any trial. When we think we cannot take one step forward, His grace sustains us. In our weakness we depend more and more on God, that way we see His power manifest in a greater dimension.

God governs the world and everything that happens has a purpose. Sometimes it may look meaningless to us, it could seem unfair, but when we trust the Lord and His wisdom, sooner than later we understand. With that comprehension comes a peace and gratitude that we can sincerely thank Him.

The Apostle Paul understood that whatever was being a torment for him at that present time, it was only a glorious chievement…

“for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:17-18

When we take an issue that torments us and compare to the issues others are going through, we pray in the authority of the name of Jesus for those people that we don’t even know. Our prayers do miracles that one day in heaven many will come and thank us. From the comfort of our homes, we can pray for others in different continents and God will send angels to help them. While we are concerned for others, God has angels working in our behalf. This is how we respond to the blows of life!

This is my story! what is yours?