“I will praise you, for You made me with fear and wonder; marvelous are your works, and You know me completely” (Psalm 139:14).
It is so horrible to see the majestic still presence of my Lord in the face of my worst nightmare and not even turn to my help.
Until my debacle in 2008, I was used to the majestic presence of the Lord on the battlefield for me. He used to invite me to follow him and tell me where to go.
During my first 60 years of our fellowship, He had taught me that He will never leave me or forsake me. And that knowledge was the fabric of my own being. What I did not know was that He also exercises His Lordship in what is unknown to me.
I understand how John felt. He was exiled on a desert island sent there to die for his faith in Jesus Christ. He was the closest disciple of Jesus. He now he is old, tortured and alone. Now he saw an aspect of Jesus unknown to him:
“When I saw him, I fell down at his feet like a dead man. He placed his right hand on me and said, “Don’t be afraid! I am the first and the last.”(Revelation 1:17 GNT).
The Lord is not delivering him from that exile, but He is telling John that He is ruling over all. The Lord is telling John that He is the Authority, therefore he should not fear Nero, the Emperor.
“I am the living one! I was dead, but now I am alive forever and ever. I have authority over death and the world of the dead.” (Revelations 1:18 GNT),
All John needed was to keep his eyes on Jesus, not on his current anguish. The majestic presence of the Lord is all the strength and security we need in times of trouble.
In the 1980s, my Lord introduced me to the book of Colossians as a training course for all the unknown that was in storage in my future. That book took hold of me and transformed me into a weapon of destruction against Satan. However, in my deep disappointment, this counsel was hidden from my memory for a good while.
He is the Authority of the unknown. He rules the invisible and the visible. He has primacy in all things.
“For through him God created everything in heaven and on earth, the seen and the unseen things, including spiritual powers, lords, rulers, and authorities. God created the whole universe through Him and for Him. Christ existed before all things, and in union with Him all things have their proper place.” ( Colossians 1:16-17 GNT)
The unknown has its proper place in the Lord. In 1991, He invited me to follow Him to the Shame of the Cross and I gladly did. In October 14, 2000, He didn’t invite me, He declared:
“I’ve been looking for a heart that I can trust to instill a revelation and in you, I have found it.” Then He continued, “You will take a long rest, you will be with me. You will not see, you will not hear, you will not talk. But then you will come out with a great revelation”
That same day my husband announced we have not been married for 20 years. Since his brain surgery, his character and personality changed. In his mind we have been divorced for all those years. The day before I was the love of his life, next day he saw me as a dangerous species. No amount of reasoning will convince him that we have been happily married for 40 years and we have a beautiful family.
I have no idea where I am going on this pilgrimage. On February 15, 2008, I woke up at 3:50 AM, dreaming I was in a big convention and all of the sudden, the whole crowd completely disappeared including my husband. I was left completely alone in the largest tent, I’ve ever seen. A place I had never been before.
I entered the world of the unknown with the confidence that the presence of my Lord would lead me to a safe harbor. But instead, He was there, but immovable. That is how I found out the majestic of the unknown.
How to reconcile my confidence and shock disappointment? I came to understand His authority over the known and over the unknown.
“but even darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to you.” ( Psalm 139:12 GNT).
Therefore, I am completely at rest, I have no idea how my earthly pilgrimage will end. My present state is like the baby in the womb; It is an Edenic state. I am complete, nothing is needed, nothing is missed. The Lord Jesus has given me life, health and has supplied all my needs according to His riches in glory!
My experience with the unknown is like a tapestry woven from stunning, beautiful cords of love and strength. My tapestry beautifies my house with blessed assurance! And I can boldly confess that Jesus is all that matters!
This is my Story! What is Yours?