My story is a garden of exotic thoughts.
-Diana Quintero
The story behind this title. I met a person that became very dear to me. One day we paused our conversation and he excused himself to call me back a little bit later. The whole afternoon was gone and at about 24 hours later, he responded. But, while I was waiting many thoughts roamed my mind, “what about if anything bad happened to him? Or ” Was it my last conversation not proper? Etc. Many things came to my mind, then I just said to myself: “De espanto no muero!” which in English means “I am cured of fright!”
And later I found out that nothing serious happened, just that something went wrong with the connection. I have seen it all, from death to divorce, which for me that covers the whole spectrum’s devastation. And I’ve been there, but God has brought me out with a stunning triumph! In the Sacred Scriptures, in the Book of Genesis chapter 37, we find the amazing, but intriguing story of Joseph. He was a dreamer. It’s dangerous to tell your dreams to people who don’t dream. His brothers hated him because he was his dad’s favorite. One day they took his special gown off and sold him as a slave. Now the favorite son wound up in the house of a high officer of Pharaoh. He has been mistreated, naked, sold, accused of immoral act, not believed by his boss and thrown in jail. He is innocent of all charges, but apparently he has no voice, no one to defend him. He seems to be forgotten by all including God. All the hell Joseph went through was to get his dreams realized. God gives us a dream and we rejoice and share it, but God does not show us the process. From the onset of the dream to the fulfillment of, there is a long stretch. Betrayal, abandonment, losing it all, being total alone in an unknown country, not knowing the language or culture, it was a helpless situation to the natural eyes. But that was the process to graduate him as the second man in power of the greatest empire of the time.
The process of Joseph started by taking his gown off and fabricating a big lie about his presume beast’s attack that devoured him. This is my story, it’s similar to Joseph’s. Joseph’s began with dreams and God also gave me a dream in August 11, 1982. That prophetic dream was giving me the details of my firstborn son’s death. He showed me his death, but covered my understanding. That dream became a reality on July 24, 1991. His death was devastating to me. My soul was broken beyond repair, my life changed to a before and an after. I felt betrayed, abandoned, I felt there was not a creature worst than I in the whole planet. Losing my child made me feel I should be the curse of cursing. To make the long story short, God restored my soul, as the Creator that He is. The Lord replaced my son with the most gorgeous grandchild and God gave me a new song! A new hope, a new life! The healing process was completed in 1995, five years later. In another opportunity I’ll write my grieving/ healing process.
Seventeen years later, just like Joseph’s age, another tsunami storm type assaulted me! Celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary, all looked ready to start to enjoy the results of all those years of hard work. A beautiful marriage, amazing children and grandchildren and a beautiful congregation. Both of us were 60 years old, financially comfortable and ready for a restful life. Suddenly appeared a pituitary tumor in my husband, and surgery was soon needed and the wonderful husband, loving father and venerable man of God changed overnight. Me, as well as the children, became outsiders for him. He acted out of his character. In the story of Joseph, the brothers that hated him were the sons of concubines, not of Leah’s. They were the illegitimate children of Leah’s and Rachael’s maidservants. Reuben and Judah were sons of the legitimate wife, not of a simple mistress and they defended Joseph.
In our case, the children of maidservants, were some that in 40 years of our marriage we have not been related to; all of the sudden gathered together and formed a big alliance against God. About Joseph’s ” They said to one another, “Here comes this master of dreams! Come now, let’s kill him, throw him into one of the cisterns, and then say that a wild animal ate him. Then we’ll see how his dreams turn out!”’ Genesis 37:19-20.
These so called my husband’s relatives acted like the hateful Joseph’s illegitimate brothers forming a strong support group to destroy the ministry of this man of God. And they did.
How to handle this betrayal, this incredible blow? How you respond to people you have loved and served for many years and now in your anguish they desert you? Acts 20:24 is the Motto of my life:
“But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
And I have lived it. My life after my son’s death is victorious, I am not afraid of death or anything because I have the assurance of God’s presence within me. After my son’s death, God gave me a new soul as strong as love. There is nothing stronger than love. I love and pray for the people that destroyed my husband. I know they will face the Lord one day and I tremble at that thought. How I respond to this poor people that almost destroyed me? I respond with the compassion of Christ, my Lord. I pity them and pray for them to repent, so that all the evil they did to us they can reverse to do good now.
Every time I pray and love them, I get younger and healthier. The inner beauty of the love of the Lord permeates through me and people finds me pretty. No grudge, no resentment, but love God and love people, are the keys for being healthy, joyful and stunning beautiful! When you have my Acts 20:24 Motto, there are no weapons against you, you are above all! I am full of JOY! “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
The Whole Spectrum of Fright
It’s under my feet. De espanto no muero= I am cured of fright! Praise God!