“Don’t stare at me because I am dark the sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me; they forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn’t care for myself–my own vineyard” (Songs 1:6 NLT).
I lost the presence of my Love because they forced me to take care of someone else’s vineyard and neglect our sweet quiet time. His presence disappeared from my garden, leaving a feeling of death in my soul. And so, I began my search, until I found the one my soul loves.
My Soul is Thirsty for you. The rivers do not contain enough water to quench my desperate thirst. The trillions of cells within me scream in agony for you. where have you gone, You, the One my soul can’t live without? Without You everything is insipid, even the salt loses its flavor. (groaning).
The clamor of all my cells is to worship you with all my might. Please, Spirit of the Living God, Wonderful Counselor, tell my Beloved that I am lovesick. Please, tell the only love of my soul that my unrequited search is unbearable for me. Where does He rest His sheep during the midday heat?
I desperate need to find my Love, my Life, the Lifter of my head, because He is my shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm. He is like streams of water in my desert. He is the shadow of a great rock in my parched land. Renew my parched soul with the streams of your presence, please.
“O maidens of Jerusalem, I command you – If you find my beloved, what will you tell him? Tell him that I am lovesick!” (Song of Solomon 5:8 NET),
I started my search with a sense of emptiness in my soul, desperate to feel the heartbeat of my Lord. And just by pronouncing some of His attributes, it turned into worship that opened the heaven and His sweet presence flooded me. And seeing myself as His beloved sheep, my agonizing search took another turn: peace in my valley!
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for allowing me the joy of feeling your presence. You never left, but for a time you hid the joy of your presence, which is my total delight.
This is my Story! What’s Yours?